


Dinner

by TheNako



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 05:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13780233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNako/pseuds/TheNako
Summary: A story about how Kevin sucks bye





	Dinner

Chop.

Chop. Chop.

…

“Gah!”

Chop.

That's all anybody needed to hear to be able to tell that it was Kevin Price that was cooking dinner tonight.

If it was Connor, you would have heard:

Chop. Chop.

which then speeded up to a smooth

Chop Chop ChopChopChopChopChop

If it was Arnold, you wouldn't have heard any chops at all, only the sound of the microwave going “Beep” until someone got tired of the noise and decided to get it out.

But a series of awkward, spaced out chops and the occasional groan? Yup, that was Kevin.

\---

Kevin Price was struggling. Apparently everybody is just born with the magical power to be able to chop onions like a pro except for him, because in the cookbook, all it says is “Chop the onion”.

Very helpful. The book didn't tell him how large the pieces should be, or which way he should cut it, or how close his fingers should be to the knife, or if he should even be cutting it with a knife (would it be easier with scissors?) He wanted to throw that page at the person who decided to put “Cooking is easy with this nifty book!” on the cover.

He wondered what he was doing wrong. He was almost sure that the onions weren't supposed to be in chunks that big. Besides, his eyes hurt, and he could feel tears running down his cheeks.

Wait.

What if they’re … not tears?

He sprinted to the living room.

“CONNOR!”

He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

“Okay, don't freak out but aremyeyesbleeding!?!?!?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

…

“Are you like, sure?"

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

And that was how he ended up back in the kitchen, hating onions.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally Kevin was supposed to cut his finger off b


End file.
